I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
