I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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