isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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