you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
