Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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