I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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