I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm both gender and math confused
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
