Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
