Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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