I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
