He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let's get the cat blown out
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
