May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize