It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
only you would photoshop your dick
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
