that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
