So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
