how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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