I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
