Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
