by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
