And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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