Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
