just tell him i said nine months
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
