goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
