So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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