I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
