we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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