where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
