Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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