I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
