she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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