...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize