yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the condom got lost in my hair
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
