Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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