She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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