check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
