I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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