i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
