I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize