Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
