At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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