her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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