Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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