Sober January is a disaster.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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