"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
