Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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