Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
