I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
