So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
