you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
