Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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