i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
