im gay
i know
yea but for you.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize