i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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