she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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