Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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