let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
