why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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