I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
