I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize