i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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