Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
