he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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