So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
