did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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