I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize