Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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