That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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