Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
