you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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