so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
