I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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