I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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