Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
