Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
