I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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