Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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