I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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